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Domestic Violence – How to do I know if I am in an abusive relationship?

How do I know if I am in an abusive relationship?

Pregnancy and the hope of a new life can be heartwarming and a wonderful time. However, pregnant women living in domestic violence situations, pregnancy can be filled with fear, uncertainty and insecurity.

Domestic Violence

 

Domestic violence, also known as intimate partner violence, is often physical but can also be economic, emotional, verbal, sexual and even stalking. It can happen to anyone. Domestic violence knows no boundaries. It happens to students, stay-at-home moms, cashiers and corporate executives. Women of all ages, ethnicities, faiths, economic status and levels of education can find themselves in an environment where their intimate partner, or former partner, is abusing them. It is more common than people believe. According to the Domestic Violence Intervention Program, as much as 35% of women experience some form of intimate partner violence. That is equivalent to 1 in 3 women.

How do I know if I am in an abusive relationship?

If you are not sure what the signs of intimate partner abuse are, you are not alone. Abuse comes in many forms. Below, less well known forms of abuse are listed first.

Economic: Preventing you from going to work; not allowing you a say in how money you earned is spent; blocking access to your income; withholding money for basic needs; stealing money from you.

Emotional: Blaming you for things you have not done; shaming; neglect; coercion (i.e. forcing you to do something against your will including use of drugs, alcohol, or smoking); humiliating you; name-calling; continual criticism; putting you down.

Psychological: Stalking; threats; intimidation; trying to control what you can or cannot do; isolating you from friends, family, co-workers.

Sexual: Forcing you to have sex or perform sexual acts you do not want to engage in; refusing to use condoms; preventing you from using your choice of birth control.

Medical: Preventing you from going to medical appointments or seeking medical care for injuries; causing you to not take prescription medications (i.e. hiding, throwing away, not allowing you to fill prescriptions); demanding to attend all medical appointments with you and/or to be in the exam room.

Physical violence: Pushing; slapping; punching; kicking; biting; use of weapons including knives or guns.

Click for the Domestic Violence Intervention Program’s detailed list on signs that indicate you may be experiencing intimate partner violence. 

Support Circle’s professional nurses and counselors offer a safe place. With three Bay Area clinics in San Francisco, Redwood City and Oakland, our team is able to listen and provide the support and community resources you need. We encourage you to call, schedule an appointment or walk-in today. You don’t have to go through this alone.

 

Links:

Domestic Violence and Pregnancy

 

Hotline Phone Numbers:

National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or 1-800-787-3224 TTY

W.O.M.A.N., Inc., San Francisco Bay Area 24-Hour Hotline: 415-864-4722

Support Circle can provide you with additional resources that may help you: 1-888-252-1822

 

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Domestic Violence and Pregnancy

Domestic Violence and Pregnancy

Fifty to seventy percent of women abused before pregnancy are abused during pregnancy. Domestic Violence and Pregnancy The form of abuse can present itself as physical, emotional, verbal, psychological, sexual, financial and medical.  It can happen to anyone.  Domestic violence knows no boundaries.  It happens to students, stay-at-home moms, cashiers and corporate executives.  Women of all ages, ethnicities, faiths, economic status and levels of education can find themselves in an environment where their intimate partner, or former partner, is abusing them.  It is more common than people believe.  According to the Domestic Violence Intervention Program, as much as 35% of women experience some form of intimate partner violence.  That is equivalent to 1 in 3 women.

The impact of intimate partner violence during pregnancy presents countless health risks to the pregnant woman and to the health of the fetus.  Some of the physical complications for the woman include low weight gain, bleeding, infections, high blood pressure, placental abruption, uterine rupture and anemia.  Left untreated, major complications can result during the pregnancy and/or childbirth.  While these effects may seem temporary or manageable, the effects on the fetus can extend to childhood and even into adulthood.

Women in an unintended pregnancy are burdened with the additional weight of choosing between a relationship with the father of the unborn child and the desire to live in a safe and secure environment.  Pregnant women experiencing intimate partner violence are more likely to suffer from depression, anxiety, have a higher incidence of suicide, and engage in substance abuse, which include the abuse of illicit and prescription drugs and alcohol.  These coping mechanisms may enable temporary escape but have long-term effects.  Best practices point to professional counseling and early medical attention as soon as pregnancy is suspected.  An intervention of this nature will help verify a pregnancy and its viability through a laboratory grade urine test and an ultrasound and help women in an unplanned pregnancy find a safe environment to discuss their concerns.

Women considering parenting are encouraged to secure prenatal care as soon as possible.  Lack of prenatal care affects not just the pregnant woman, but the baby as well. It can lead to immediate complications including premature birth and low-birth weight.  Low birth weight and premature birth could have long-term effects on the child including attention problems, behavioral difficulties, language delays, decreased IQ, motor function delays. These effects often create difficulties in school and on into adulthood.

What can you do to protect yourself?

Seek help immediately.  Facing an unplanned pregnancy can be complicated or confusing under less stressful circumstances.  An unplanned pregnancy while living in an abusive environment or while in an abusive relationship is overwhelming.  Developing a support system that includes individuals that will support and advocate for you while you make your final pregnancy decision will help you remain safe.

The counseling and medical staff at Support Circle have experience working with pregnant women who have experienced intimate partner violence.  One particular client, “Lily,” was in an abusive relationship.  Our patient advocate team advocated for Lily and her daughter by helping them find housing and other community resources to ensure their continued safety.  We are available to listen and to support you.

Support Circle patient advocates are here to give you the time, space and support you need during your pregnancy.  With three Bay Area clinics in San Francisco, Redwood City and Oakland, our team is able to listen and provide the support and community resources you need to make your pregnancy decision and for the coming year, regardless of what you decide.  We encourage you to call, schedule an appointment or walk-in today.  You don’t have to go through this alone.

Click for the Domestic Violence Intervention Program’s detailed list on signs that indicate you may be experiencing intimate partner violence.

 

Hotline Phone Numbers:

National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or 1-800-787-3224 TTY

W.O.M.A.N., Inc., San Francisco Bay Area 24-Hour Hotline: 415-864-4722

Support Circle can provide you with additional resources that may help you: 1-888-252-1822

 

Links:

Appointments and Walk-ins

Chat with a nurse

 

References:

  1. Saltzman, LE., Johnson, C.H., Gilbert, BC., and Goodwin, F. “Physical Abuse Around the Time of Pregnancy: An Examination of Prevalence and Risk Factors in 16 States”. Maternal and Child Health Journal, Vol. 7, Pg 31-42 (2003)
  2. http://www.dvipiowa.org/myths-facts-about-domestic-violence/
  3. Tjaden P, Thoennes N.Prevalence, Incidence, and Consequences of Violence Against Women: Findings from the National Violence Against Women Survey. Washington, DC: National Institute of Justice, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention; 1998.
  4. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2971723/
  5. https://www.futureswithoutviolence.org/userfiles/file/Children_and_Families/Reproductive.pdf
  6. http://www.whattoexpect.com/pregnancy/domestic-abuse/

 

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