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Pregnant? Considering your options?

Pregnant? Considering abortion? Considering your pregnancy options?

Need someone to talk to? We can help.

Oakland: 510-891-9998

San Francisco: 415-627-9175

Redwood City: 650-261-9115

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How Do I Tell My Boss I Am Pregnant?

Pregnancy can be a wonderful time of hope and excitement while awaiting your newest family member. It can also be a time of uncertainty, especially where your employment is concerned. Some employers have positive attitudes and policies regarding maternity leave and parenting, while other employers have a less than welcoming approach. The good news is that there are laws to protect pregnant women and most employers fall somewhere in the middle of the extremes.

Often, telling our boss that we are pregnant can be the biggest stress hurdle. Here are some helpful tips to help you tell your employer that you are pregnant:

1. Know your rights. Read your company’s policy on maternity leave and parental leave and familiarize yourself with the federal Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA) and state laws regarding maternity leave. The U.S. does not have paid maternity leave laws. California is one of only four states that have paid maternity leave laws in addition to FMLA. It might tip your hand to ask HR for the company’s maternity leave policies. You should be able to access company policies in your initial employment paperwork, by requesting a copy of the employee handbook/policy manual from HR, or it may be in an employee online portal.

2. When to tell. Many women wait until they are into the second trimester (four to six months) before telling an employer of their pregnancy. Often, this is when women begin to “show” but it is also considered a “safe” time since most miscarriages occur in the first trimester (three months) of a pregnancy. Some women have such severe morning sickness that they may need to share the news with their employer early in their pregnancy as it could become a medical issue impacting their performance.

Consider timing your announcement until after an upcoming performance review, project deadline or deal. Telling your supervisor before a pending company reorganization could be mutually beneficial if you don’t plan on returning after the baby is born. It could be a good time to part ways and possibly leave with a severance package or unemployment benefits instead of just quitting after the baby is born. Conversely, if you plan to return after the baby is born, you might consider holding off on sharing your pregnancy news. Employers are not legally permitted to fire you for being pregnant but they can let you go under the guise of the reorganization.

3. Who to tell. Often, co-workers are close friends so women are most likely share their pregnancy news with them first – or with social media. However, it would be best to share your pregnancy news with your direct supervisor or human resources first. Which leads us to best practices on how to tell your employer you are pregnant.

4. How to tell. Face-to-face is the best way to tell your employer. This enables you to gauge her reaction and give you an insight into how she and/or the company may feel about pregnant employees, maternity leave, and accommodating working parents. If you are concerned about your direct supervisor’s reaction, consider sharing the news with HR first or requesting a meeting with HR, you and your supervisor.

5. What to say. The initial announcement should be brief to share that you are pregnant and the baby’s due date. Don’t overshare about the details – save those for your personal friends over lunch or dinner. You may want to assure your employer that you have given this much thought but all of the logistics (like this maternity leave plan) can be worked out in the coming months. Don’t lock yourself into any promises or commitments early on (i.e. Do not say: “I plan to work right up until my due date,” or, “I will only need six weeks off.”) because you won’t know details until you and your doctor discuss your medical needs in the coming months.

6. Email Follow Up. It’s always good to have an electronic record of the date and nature of your conversation. The face-to-face should be followed up with a simple email the same day: “Susan, Thanks for your time today so I could share my pregnancy announcement with you. The baby’s due date is… I look forward to working out the logistics for my leave in the coming months.”

With a little advance planning, telling your boss that you are pregnant can be a simple and positive experience. If you are pregnant and unsure of your pregnancy decision, the client advocates at Support Circle can listen and help you make a decision that is in line with your values. We can also help prepare for your conversation with your employer by helping you to talk it through and role play.

To schedule an appointment at one of our three Bay Area clinics, call 888-252-1822 or visit: supportcircle.org/today.

 

Helpful Links
Overcoming Anxiety

Professional Counseling

Schedule an Appointment

 

 

Reference Links
Dept. of Labor. Federal Law on Maternity Leave

California Legislature. California Law on Paid Maternity Leave 

Fairy God Boss. How to Create a Maternity Leave Plan

 

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Common Misconceptions About Unplanned Pregnancies

Common Misconceptions About Unplanned Pregnancies

We asked our patient advocate team to share some of the most common misconceptions about unplanned pregnancies they encounter when meeting with women in our three Bay Area pregnancy clinics.  We are sharing these so that you also can be educated about these common misconceptions about unplanned pregnancies.

Misconception 1:  There are no good options

A common statement women make is: “There aren’t any good options.” Women often feel that the only options are to parent completely on their own or to abort. It is very common to feel this way, especially right after discovering you are unexpectedly pregnant. Oftentimes, women say there aren’t any good options because they are thinking of their current situation as it is right now and can’t see the solution. But if they were to sit down with a patient advocate to weigh their options and identify the supportive people in their lives, it changes the equation. People that were not in the picture might come in and be helpful. People that could be helpful with work or schooling can be brought in and make the situation better. There are many community resources that women are often not aware of that they can greatly benefit from. Many times, our clients have commented that exploring options was good because there were many avenues they did not know existed.

Misconception 2:  It is irresponsible to have an unintended pregnancy

Half of all pregnancies in America are unplanned. With great diversity to the backgrounds and circumstances of each pregnancy, it is a false stereotype to categorically say it’s irresponsible to have an unintended pregnancy. But what is irresponsible is, now that you are pregnant, to make a rash decision without evaluating the short and long-term consequences of your options. The caring staff at Support Circle is dedicated to helping our clients be well-informed about their pregnancy decision. We encourage you to take time to evaluate your core values and the repercussions of your pregnancy decision, whichever decision you end up making.

Misconception 3:  The Morning After Pill can be taken at any time during the cycle

The “Morning After Pill” is a common name for emergency contraceptive pills (ECPs) designed to be taken within hours of unprotected sex — the sooner the better — because it works by preventing ovulation. The longer you wait, the greater the chance of ovulating. ECPs work to prevent ovulation before it occurs so if you have unprotected sex after ovulation (usually days 10–14 of your cycle), ECPs may not stop a pregnancy. Emergency contraception should not be used as a regular birth control method to prevent pregnancy. If you have unprotected sex in the days after ovulation, there is a risk of becoming pregnant. You can find out if you are pregnant by taking a free, lab-quality pregnancy test at one of our three Bay Area medical clinics. The pregnancy tests administered by Support Circle nurses are more than 99% accurate and are able to detect a pregnancy as early as 10 days after conception.

At Support Circle, we often encounter common misconceptions about unplanned pregnancies.  Our professional nurses and patient advocates are dedicated to providing time, space and support to women in unintended pregnancies. Our clients love our relational approach built on respect, trust and confidentiality. Thanks to the generous donations of our supporters, we are able to offer our services free of charge.

 

Links

Pregnancy Options

Morning After Pill

Schedule an Appointment

 

Image posed by model

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What are the top fears of men facing an unintended pregnancy?

What are the top fears of men facing an unintended pregnancy?

What does society know about men facing unintended pregnancies? Honestly, not much. The majority of the attention is focused on the woman and her decision. At Support Circle, we know that men have fears and concerns too. We know that men need a safe, civil place where they can address their most pressing concerns when faced with an unintended pregnancy. 

What are His fears?
A Public Opinion Strategies survey of men ages 18 – 30 was conducted in six major metropolitan cities in 2014. The men were asked to think about their most immediate concerns when faced with an unintended pregnancy and to describe their biggest concern. These were their biggest concerns:

  • Ability to financially support a child
  • Life will change too much
  • Relationship status- i.e. is there a future with the mother of the baby
  • How this will impact work and career
  • Ability to emotionally support a child
  • Emotions and stresses
  • What girlfriend/partner/wife will think
  • What parents and family will think
  • How this will impact school or education

Where do men go to discuss their fears? Who gives men the time, space and support he needs to address his biggest concerns? In the same survey, over two-thirds of men said that they would “definitely go to to counseling” or they would actively seek counseling on their own even if their partner was unwilling! Our firsthand experience at Support Circle has proven this to be true. Last year over 70% of the men were actively involved in counseling with our clients.

Support Circle is a safe, civil place where a woman and a man can address their most pressing needs, fears and concerns. It is a place they can both come and have a professional counselor facilitate a discussion so they can both really hear each other. She Matters. And so does He.

 

For Men

She Matters. And So Does HE

She Matters. Not Just Her Decision

 

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She Matters. And So Does HE.

Posed by model

Posed by model

She Matters. And So Does He.
At Support Circle, She Matters. And so does He. Support Circle offers tangible help by providing medical and counseling services where women can come to address their most pressing needs and fears when facing an unplanned pregnancy. We offer this to each woman because we believe She Matters. And so does He. Recent research by Public Opinion Strategies showed that for women unsure about their unplanned pregnancy, the number one concern/factor in their decision is the relationship with the father of the baby. The research also showed that most men would like to be involved with their partner in the decision-making process.

Support Circle recognizes that men need support as well in this situation and provides the following services for men:

  • Addressing financial questions and concerns in an individual counseling setting
  • Insurance assistance and enrollment
  • Answers to medical questions related to the pregnancy
  • Discussion facilitation – Sometimes conversations can be difficult with sensitive issues like an unintended pregnancy. Having a qualified third party facilitate discussion between the woman and the man is extremely helpful. Our professional counselors specialize in facilitating discussions with couples who are “unsure” of their pregnancy decision. All sessions are confidential and free.
  • Individual counseling – Enables the man to sort out his own thoughts and plans in complete confidentiality with a professional counselor.
  • Relationship counseling
  • Co-parenting counseling

Support Circle is a safe, civil place where a woman and a man can address their most pressing needs. It is a place they can both come and have a professional counselor facilitate a discussion so they can both really hear each other. She Matters. And so does He.

 

Services for Men at Support Circle

Meet with a Counselor

 

She Matters, not just her decision

Posed by model

Posed by model

She Matters

Not just her decision

At Support Circle, She Matters, not just her decision. From the moment she contacts Support Circle, we want her to know that She Matters. That is why we offer her multiple ways to contact us on her terms. She can search our website, chat with a nurse or schedule an appointment to meet our medical and counseling professionals.

We offer her a non-pressured environment that provides enough flexibility to address her specific needs. Her well-being is the priority during her appointments at Support Circle. Our friendly and professional staff at Support Circle’s three licensed Bay Area medical clinics provide her with a genuine opportunity to receive critical medical information and process her thoughts and feelings. And our counseling staff provides long-term, relational support for the coming year. Why? Because She Matters, not just her decision.

We offer her tangible help by providing a safe, civil place where she can come to address her most pressing needs and fears when facing an unplanned pregnancy. A place where people are not jumping all over her, demanding that she make one decision or another. But rather, a place that gives her deference so she can sort out her own thoughts and feelings to make a well-informed choice that she can own. A place where She Matters. Your financial support helps Support Circle provide a safe, civil place for her, where She Matters, not just her decision.

 

She Matters and So Does He

What are the top fears of men facing an unintended pregnancy?

A safe, civil place in the midst of fear

What to Expect at Support Circle

Meet with a Counselor